There’s nothing quite like returning home after a long
absence to discover mice have moved in. To be clear, this wasn’t the first
time, but in retrospect, the last time, they were so darned polite. Sure,
they’d partied a little, but aside from a few mouse droppings and scattered leaves, it was almost like it hadn’t happened. With barely any clean up required, I was
lulled into a false sense of security. That’s how they do it--those sneaky
boogers.
Plain and simple, I let my guard down. I got cocky, and now, I almost hummed as I unpacked and wallowed in my suburban nesting rituals. Oh sure, there was that one suspicious bit of something that could have been mouse poop. Really though, who’s to say it wasn’t a random grain of black rice? It was nothing I couldn’t ignore, and so I continued on in my self-induced haze. Isn’t that what life is all about?
It was all going well until I went to turn on the washing
machine. It was the ramen noodles in the
make shift wash closet pantry that tipped me off. They really are zealous
little beasts. As my hand pushed past what should have been a solidly
reassuring rectangle of individually wrapped rations, my fingers closed around
a noisy vat of stickiness. It was only then that I realized the box was empty
save a few packs of those glorious foil enshrined squares of MSG goodness. As
my hand withdrew, my eyes focused on the mouse poop. The droppings were *everywhere*.
My eyes rolled back into my head as a sigh escaped. Of course this was happening. While my inner
twins Petulance and Ironically Amused dueled for top billing, I pulled out all
the shelves and started a 9 pm cleaning spree. Forty five minutes later, with
visions of a hot shower dancing through my head, I made my way to the sock and
underwear drawer to fish out clean clothes. And ramen. So much ramen.
I’m a naïve soul though, and I just wasn’t ready to give up
hope. It wasn’t until the next day that the true scope of their clever industry
hit me. As I slid my feet into a pair of boots, I did not have to look to know
the lovely crunchy debris was ramen. I did not have to look as I shook the
boots empty, but like driving by a traffic accident, I did. Even so, I kept the
hope. It wasn’t until the second night that the full scope of my defeat and
lost territory hit me. For there, in the darkness, I heard the little fugitives
running. I imagined them living it up
through the house. Prancing. Cavorting. Eating all the snacks. What was left of
my fire and optimism sank into the mattress. From beneath my sanctuary of
covers, I could only murmur, “Don’t stay up too late. Some of us have to sleep.”
