Things I need to know

As we begin to settle in, I am finally able to say that I see the ways this might work into something truly wonderful.

This is not something I say lightly. I have struggled so in this move. I really wanted an 11th hour dispensation from God so that I did not have to move. I know, I know, some of you are thinking I could have stopped this move at any time. But, that would have violated the journey I began with God over two years ago. I couldn't do that. So, in absence of a clear directive to stay in Bloomington, I followed the instigation of my spouse to move to Central Florida. He, btw, felt he was doing this partly for me. And, I guess he was. Funny how these things can happen.

In any event, I continued with this move that I might be better able to move forward when I did not necessarily feel like it 100%. I moved so that I would be forced to rely on God's strength and patience. I moved so that I might not get lost in the trap of building a perfect life that I could control. I moved to practice self-discipline. Karate is a bit hard to get to these days with the kids you know...

There were times I felt I was moving to be closer to family. In the beginning that was the main reason given. As the pace picked up though, there was no ability to dwell on those aspects. This became a challenge of my desires. My resentments. My comfort. Me. Me. Me. And that is really why I needed to go through this move.
Because it is not about me. It's about being a tiny part of a bigger picture. One in which each part needs to work well with others. To know how to exist. And I do not always do this well. I fix. Not so much these days though. Now, I do what I need to get through the day.

I pray for more than enough grace for each day. I pray that I will meet the needs of my family and that we will all grow closer to God. That we might be more than usable. That we would be pleasing. As I ride and walk the streets here, I feel my prayers being answered. As I find moments to talk to near strangers about the quest to be more open to God's provision and leadership in my life, I see glimpses of the future.

Life is so short. Sometimes, we get a re-take. More often, we don't. May Your day be blessed with opportunities to love, to dare, and to be loved.